Kulilits Moment: Random Conversations with the Twins

Scenario 1: On Having a Kid

While we were in the car...

Doc Padu: I think I'm hungry for a pwet!
Chris: No!
Doc Padu: Can I bite your pwet?
Chris: No! When I'll have my own kids, I will not bite their pwet!
Doc Padu: Anak naman, don't grow up too fast! You're thinking about having a kid na!



Talaga nga naman oh. Ang advance talaga ng utak eh, pagkakaroon na ng anak ang iniisip eh!


Scenario 2: Death

On the way to Sonya's garden for my MIL's birthday dinner...

Chris: Mommy, if I die, will people miss me?
Me (surprised): What? Anak, why are you talking about death? You'll not die yet.
Chris: Ooopsss sorry... That is when I became old...



Haaayyy nakuk anak, ano ba naman yang mga tanong mo! Nakakaloka at the same time nakakatakot! Ang morbid!


Scenario 3: Playing Safe


Me: Mga anak, who is more handsome, Tito Ninong Paolo or Tito Ninong Raph?
Ian: deadma lang
Chris: Tito Ninong Paolo and Tito Ninong Raph! They are both handsome!


O di ba? Playing safe ang anak ko. Hahaha!


Scenario 4: Favorite Tito Ninong


Me: Who is your favorite Tito Ninong Boys?
Chris: Tito Ninong Paolo!
Me: How about you Ian?
Ian: My real favorite Tito Ninong?
Me: Yes.
Ian: My real favorite Tito Ninong is Tito Ninong Rap Rap!
Me: Why?
Ian: Because he has a Minion pjs!


Mga anak ko talaga o, paiba iba ng favorite. Pero natawa talaga ako kay Ian eh, super babaw lang ng reason kung bakit niya nagging favorite si Rap Rap. Hahaha!

Usapang Mag-Asawa: Halo Halo Cravings

Ang tagal ko na nagcracrave ng halo halo ng Aling Lucy's. If you live in Las Pinas, malamang alam niyo ang Aling Lucy's. May 2 branches sila eh. One beside Puregold Las Pinas and one near RFC. They sell kasi halo halo, mais con yelo and saging con yelo. Masarap na tapos affordable pa.

Last night, since nakakatamad magluto dahil kami lang ni hubby ang kakain, we ate dinner at Chicken Deli. Since tapat lang ng Chicken Deli ang Aling Lucy's, I had this convo with hubby...

Me: Be, parang gusto ko ng halo halo ng Aling Lucy's...

Doc Padu (looking at the ginataang halo halo picture at our table): Sure kang halo halo ang gusto mo? Hindi ginataang halo halo?

Me: Oo... Ang tagal ko na kasi gusto bumili ng halo halo sa Aling Lucy's kaso nakakatamad lang bumili eh. Bakit?

Doc Padu: Ang ironic kasi eh. Umuulan tapos gusto mo ng halo halo.

Me: Eh gusto ko ng halo halo eh, bakit ba nangingiaalam ka?

Ang sungit ko ba? Di ko siya sinusungitan that time ha. Again, normal lang talaga ang tirahan sa mga conversation namin. Hahaha!

Pakialamero ng cravings ng may cravings ano? Pero sa totoo lang, nababasa ko ang nasa isipan niya. Siya ang may gusto ng ginataang halo halo. Di pa ako sabihan ng diretso eh. Hahaha!

Kulilits Moments: Ian Kulit

Scenario 1: Drawing object for each beginning letter

During one homeschool session, when I asked about something that starts with letter "F"...

Me: What starts with letter "F" anak"?

Ian: Ummm... FAT! Daddy doesn't play football that's why he is fat!

Then Ian drew something...

Ian: Look mommy, that's daddy with a big tummy!

Talaga nga naman ang anak ko, tinira na naman ang daddy nila.


Scenario 2: Correct pronunciation of Davao

While waiting inside the car, Mama G and Ian are conversing about their trip to Davao...

Mama G: Are you excited to go to Dabao?
Ian: Mama G, it's not Dabao, it's Davao!
Mama G: Da...bao...
Ian: Da...Vao...
Mama G: Da...bao...
Ian: It's V Mama G! Da...Vao...
Mama G (having difficulty pronouncing Davao): Hay, basta Dabao... Pareho lang yun!

Ang kulit talaga eh! Kahit nagkakanda buhol buhol na dila ni Mama G, pinipilit pa rin ni Ian ang right pronunciation ng Davao eh.


Scenario 3: Hindi ako mamimiss

Thinking about their trip to Davao, I asked Ian a question...

Me: Anak, will you miss me when you go to Davao?
Ian: Ummm... No!
Me: You will not miss me?
Ian: Yes! When I go to Davao, I will not miss you!

Ouch naman! Very independent talaga mga anak ko. Di raw ako mamimiss. Pero mukha ngang di ako namimiss dahil nag-eenjoy sila ngayon sa Davao at ayaw akong kausapin ng matagal kapag kausap ko sa phone. Hmf talaga!


Scenario: Vajajay

Ian: Mommy, why is it that only your doctor can see your vajajay?
Me: Of course anak, she is my OB Gyne.
Ian: But mommy, I'm a doctor too!
Me: Hay naku anak, di ka pa rin makaget-over sa vajajay thing na yan ha!

Very curious indeed! Hahahaha!

Usapang Mag-Asawa: Early Morning Pang-Aapi to My Dear Hubby

Good morning guys!

Pasensya na talaga at di ako masyadong makapagsulat ngayon ha. I know na lagi na lang ako nanghihingi ng pasensya sa inyo pero gustuhin ko man, di na talaga kinakaya ng powers ko eh. If you are following me in Instagram, you can see na palagi kaming nasa galaan. In short, di kami napipirmi sa bahay. Like right now, we are here at Manila Hotel. As usual, my sons and I accompanied hubby. May activity kasi sila eh. Nagdala na ako ng laptop dahil I know na pwede ako makasingit ng work and pagsulat ng blog post kahit papaano.

So for my first blog post for the month of August, I just want to share ang kaaga-aga kong pang-aapi sa mahal kong asawa. Hehehe!

Scenario 1:

After hubby took a bath...

Me: O Be, tignan mo, kasya pala yang polo mo na yan sa iyo eh, bakit di mo na sinusuot?
Doc Padu (inhaled sabay himas sa tiyan): Lumiit na kasi ang tiyan ko eh...
Me (Deadma kuno sa pag-inhale ni hubby): Ah ganun ba? Tignan mo dalawa na nga dinala kong polo para sure na may magkakasya sa iyo eh.
Doc Padu: Actually, yung dinala mong pants di na kasya sa akin. Matagal nang masikip sa akin yun.
Me: Sorry...

On the way to the elevator, nagrelax na si hubby ng kanyang tummy kaya...

Me (Pang-asar): Akala ko ba lumiit na tiyan mo? Ayan o nakauslit! May nalalaman ka pang lumiit na yang tyan mo eh di ka lang humihinga kanina! Hahaha!


Scenario 2:

This morning, while we are having breakfast at Cafe Ilang-Ilang...

Doc Padu: Be, ang di lang maganda dito, ang baba ng table ano?
Me: Bakit? Hirap ba ang tyan mo?
Doc Padu (with a sarcastic voice): Thank you ha!!!


Ganyan lang kami magmahalan ng aking hubby... Asaran to the max! Hehehe! =)

Darwin Awards

I received an email from my dad and the subject is "Darwin Awards". At first, I thought that it is related to work where he will ask me to prepare an ad for the company. To my surprise, it is just a forwarded email  awarding people because of their, let's just say, "stupidity".

Let me share it to you...

*DARWIN AWARDS*

*Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.** *

*Here is the glorious winner:**

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his  incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.